Saturday, August 21, 2010

Lawyer in Action

  God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"  This is the conversation between them.
G: Why did I make snakes just before lawyers?
D: To practice.

G: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?
S: Your Honor.

G: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
D: The lawyer charges more. 

G: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
S: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

G: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
S: Senator

G: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?
D: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

G: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
D: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

G: What?s the difference between lawyers and accountants?
S: At least accountants know they're boring.

G: How to get the lawyer get on the tv?
D: Let him sit on it.

 Now we know that the devil if collaborated with Satan is smarter and funnier than the God.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Of Najib and Rosmah

Picture credits to

Friday, August 13, 2010

Causes of Traffic Jam in Malaysia

  • Woman taking all their sweet time on the road to multitask by putting make-up and adjusting their bra hook.
  • Man taking all their sweet time to swear at all women who drive so slow.
  • Women are just born not to drive.
  • Malaysian showing their protest to the government by driving very slowly because they not getting what they should get from the tax payer money, thus, making the Malaysian less productive.
  • Too many accident and the road is not wide enough.
  • Too many cars that driven by eligible driver or ineligible driver.
  • Too many tolls and traffic light that not works effectively.
  • Government just suck in urban planning and design.
  • Traffic congestion is just another wonders of Malaysia.
  • Lorry driver or any higher vehicle driver taking their horny time to peep the next car to see if there is any cleavage or girl scratching their pussy.
  • People enjoying the scenery because for them it is not driving but sight seeing.
  • Too many Ah Beng racing and showing off their car on the road.
  • Rempit becoming less or have improve their standard and more of them showing off on the road(it is in their blood).
  • Psychological and mental capabilities of Malaysian driver are so low.

#Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

New Proton And Review

“WHAT THE FUCK?! Need to replace the fucking gearbox again? Fuck man! This is the fucking... shit I fucking lost count how many times I've replaced the fucking gearbox for my Proton Chancellor ”
~ Tun Mahathir whining about his Proton car gearbox to Proton's service advisor

“WHAT THE FUCK?! Need to replace the fucking gearbox again? Fuck man! I just stopped driving this car (Proton Chancellor) already and just leave it at home. Why still need to change gearbox? What the fuck, right? ”
~ Tun Mahathir still whining about his Proton car gearbox to Proton's service advisor

“Fuck it lah. If they're involved in an accident and die then that's their problem lah. They die because they are weak. I don't give a shit and we won't, I repeat, we won't put airbag in our cars.”
~ Proton CEO before he decide to include airbag in all Proton cars.

“Mana ada bocor? Proton Perdana saya pun bocor tiap-tiap bulan!”
~ Bung Moktar Radin from Kinabatangan comment about his Proton Perdana

“Why would i buy a Proton when i could buy a real car. Like a KIA.”
~ "Enlightened" kid

“Kereta ini kereta Malaysia, you tak suka, you keluar dari Malaysia!”
~ Badruddin Amiruldin, on people who modified a Proton back to Mitsubishi

“I don't think Proton car is rubbish, as a matter in fact, our Ploton car is even better than Frawd, Shitvrolet, Mar-Sir-Lee BENG, Toyoduck, Mitubishit, Fucklari or Lembukini !!!”
~ Proton CEO

“What the hell !!! Are you stupid ???!!! Why should we produce high quality cars? Malaysian still will buy our car one, even though our great Proton cars are no quality (not low quality) because our car is the cheapest in Malaysia. We just need to produce low quality cars for Malaysian is enough lah, why waste money on doing QC and R&D? ”
~ Proton CEO roared fiercely to the Proton Engineer who wish to improve the cars' quality

“The government is scouring all avenues to bring about Proton's financial recovery and enable its products to be globally competitive. ”
~ Datuk Seri Dr Hilmi Yahaya in his dream

“Do this have a pu$$y magnet? ”
~ Borat, looking for a car to travel all the way from KL to Sabah.

“You don't know cars, you shut up lah! ”
~ Proton CEO roared fiercely to Mitsubishi, Toyota, Nissan, Mercedes, BMW, Porsche during Shanghai International Car Exhibition

“If you have a crash in one of these, you would be seriously fatally death ”
~ Jeremy Clarkson, on the Proton Arena's NCAP crash test result, in which the car crumpled vertically.

“Malaysians must drive protons, each person must have at least 3 protons in their garage, only I can shove my fat ass around in a Porshces Gayenne ”
~ Mahathir.

“Actually I only drive proton because Najis threatened to C4 me and my family if I don't. ”
~ A traumatized Malaysian citizen.

“Hey isn't that dangerous? Taking spyshots of Proton cars with the mobile phone and posting it up on Paul Tan's website? That's literally using mobile phone while driving. ”
~ Captain Obvious on Paul Tan posting up spyshots of Proton cars by readers.

“Plotong has fucked my ass hard enough due to their faulty suspension, and I thought I have lost my virginity! ”
~ Some porn star
Credit to Uncyclopedia

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Paternalism: The Good or The Harm

To characterize attitudes or political systems that are thought to deprive individuals of freedom and responsibility, only nominally serving their interests, while in fact pursuing another agenda which is directly against the interests of the individuals. For paternalism definition please see Paternalism: Introduction. Paternalism requires motorcyclists to wear helmets. It forbids people from swimming at a public beach when lifeguards are not present. It forbids the sale of various drugs deemed to be ineffective. It forbids the sale of various drugs believed to be harmful. It does not allow consent to certain forms of assault to be a defense against prosecution for that assault. This is example of reasonable paternalism.

Paternalism force us to be obedient to all the rules that were made by human being that believe they are better thinker and superior than us. What the fuk! Every paternalistic approach which were justified by claiming it is for the greater good of everyone that created for somebody selfishness are  bullshit. For instance, the Internal Security Act (ISA) that were being used in Ops Lalang back then in 1987. The government that were lead by Madeath claimed all the opposition leaders and social activist could create racial tension in Malaysia which 106 persons were arrested under the Internal Security Act (ISA) and the publishing licenses of two dailies, The Star and the Sin Chew Jit Poh and two weeklies, The Sunday Star and Watan, were revoked.The truth is, Madeath and all his butt kisser objective is to win the next election. They say the status quo are being jeopardise but everybody know thing that were jeopardised was only their position in government.

Paternalism and double standard

For me, paternalistic approach is bullshit when it only serve for the interest of others. Paternalistic do not uphold freedom of rights. Paternalism interfere with our freedom of rigths. Why somebody can assume he/she knows better than any other else? What the fuk! To not preserve the human right would mean you are undermine our intelligence. Thus, questioning our ability of digesting information and making decision. See, paternalistic is only for minor because minor still cannot do the thinking properly and not liable of digesting information and making decision. Remember, paternalism is all about good and harm and we should never let others to decide and control what is good or harm to us.

# I jump, you jump,we die.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Reasons for owning a Perodua

1. You are broke and sold your car, but need a cheap one to get around. A Perodua is the perfect car if your current situation is like the one described.

2. It's better than Proton. now THAT'S a very solid reason. For now though. 

3. You are careful with money but dumb. This reason is not as common as the first one, but it can happen. So be wary that you don't become a statistic.

4. You like driving around in a box on four wheels. if so.. it is recommended you drive with a paper bag on your head. note: it is not necessary to cut holes for your eyes so you can see. you cannot control the car anyways

5. You have too much money and wanna burn some. but burning is no fun apparently. You wanna buy some Perodua Klearlisux or KennyG or dat new "mywee" juz to stack them up and knock them down

6. You work for Perodua, which probably means you are broke, and are given a Perodua as a company car. Most Perodua employees often come to work late despite getting up very early in the morning. They are also the main reason why Malaysian highways are always jammed.

7. Your parent buy you one. nah, your parents don't really like you, do they? Go and kill them now!

8. You in the other hand, thinks that Perodua is really cool!!!. Now, you better see your doctor to check your insanity!

9. Your children are being held hostage

10. You had one too many at a pub and figured you need a backup vomit bucket

11. You Are Ah Beng

12. You have been hypnotised by the Perodua corporation

13. You will go to any lengths to bring glory to the Malaysian economy

14. You're GAY

15. It cant be much worse compare to Proton. 

Credit to Uncyclopedia

Friday, August 6, 2010

One Side Of The Story

Why there is a lot of people that put their belief only to a particular someone or source? I assume all this kind of person is non-mature people who is so dumb to understand what puberty is. Fcuk them! Don't they know that every story got plenty of version til sometime it can be such as like Story 2.436.77. Why they must only believe to one side of the story? Why they must be selfish to themselves and not being fair to everyone. Hell yeah! They are selfish.

One should know every version of story and indirectly they are being fair to everyone. By outsourcing all the source, then they can make a decision or maybe give advice to every side. Believing to only one side of the story will only make you less mature and maybe not knowing about the truth. We should never give a hundred percent trust to every story because there is nothing you can believe in this liberal world except for yourself. Not even the internet.

Megan Fox is a man

This is one of the story that were speculated in the internet. Yeah,the internet told us that the woman that make us ejaculate in 5 minutes is a man. The truth is, she's a real girl. A real girl with stunning body n g-spot. Same goes with Adolph Hitler and the Muslim Revisionist Bullshit and Neil Armstrong Is a Muslim Myth. Did you get my point, nothing can be trusted. Be mature and don't be shallow minded but seek the true truth.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Money Is The Key To Happiness

"People say that money isn't the key to happiness,but I always figured if you have enough money, you can get a key made"

The capitalism have make us dependent on money and realising that money is just a matter for everything. World become upside down because of money. The core to most of every problem is because of money. Everything is cause by money. We blame the money. But thanks to money,we can now get less involvement in  fight trying to barter our stuff with others. World at peace again because of money.