Ceprek #1: Isi Minyak

Kamal menunggang motosikal bersama Jimbit. Mereka bercadang untuk ke pusat rawatan mental di Kluang bagi mengubati sakit mereka. Jimbit yang sedang laju membonceng tiba-tiba bertanya kepada Kamal dibelakangnya,

"Aku nak berhenti isi minyak ni."

"Berhenti jela, kau yang bawak motor. Bukan aku."

Setibanya di stesen minyak. Jimbit berkata kepada Kamal,

"Tempat nak isi minyak motor ni sebelah kanan ke kiri? Nak berhenti sebelah mana?"

Jimbit mati di tempat kejadian akibat pendarahan di alat kelaminnya.

raar

Draft Draft

Hari ini hari Jumaat. Sila baca lebih lanjut untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut dan janganlah berharap anda akan lanjut usia mahupun lanjut pada anggota badan yang berkenaan. Berikut yang lanjut merupakan draft draft yang terdapat dalam telefon kecil gua yang sudah lanjut.

Puncak kebodohan orang yang bijaksana adalah marah.

Freemason? Pernah tengok Green Zone tak? When there is a belief, there will be someone who will against it. This group who who do not believe the existence of Freemason is also created by the Freemason in order to make the Freemason looks fictional.

Kenapa kita masih lagi percaya pada momokan bodoh hantu yang tidak wujud sedangkan kita tahu perkataan hantu itu sendiri datangnya bukan dari Bahasa Melayu sendiri. Malahan kita juga tahu bahawa roh orang mati tidak berada di atas bumi. Sebab tu hantu tak jejak bumi. Argh! Ini semua salah burung hantu.

Kahwin muda? Ini dunia akhir zaman. Budak-budak yang lahir ke dunia makin lama makin kecil fizikalnya dan juga makin lambat kematangan mereka. Nak kahwin awal? Takut nanti pusat yang banjir nya.

You need to prepare your own argument. Intellectual argue lead to the best solution.

Nak tegur, tegur sajalah. Tapi bila tegur macam kau tu perfect sangat, agak-agaklah la. Tak tegur tak jadi orang. Haaa...kan gua tengah menegur ni. Lu dah jadi orang!

RTM3 Isnin hingga Khamis pukul 7 mesti cerita cinta. 10.30 Selasa sampai Khamis mesti cerita cinta juga. Khamis malam tahu pulak letak cerita hantu. Owh, bawak awek pergi makan lepas pukul 8, kena tengok cerita cinta biar dapat kumpul ayat. Bila dah pukul 10.30, dah sampai kedai boleh layan cerita cinta lagi sambil pegang-pegang tangan. Khamis malam Jumaat apa barang lepak kedai, cerita hantu, so clubbing lah!

Rais Yatim? Two words. Double standard.

Semua drama mahupun filem yang disiarkan dalam negara kita banyak diselitkan bibit-bibit cinta. Tak habis-habis cinta. Cliche sungguh. Sampai ada yang buat blog pasal cinta. Aduhai. Cinta seolah-olah memainkan peranan besar dalam kehidupan setiap manusia. Argh! Mungkin kerajaan nak tingkat populasi penduduk negara agaknya.

Orang lain makan masa orang lain. Kalau gua meeting dengan lu sampai pukul 3, lu jangan lah nak extend sampai pukul 5. Gua ade life jugak. Diluah mati emak, ditelan mati bapak, dikemam mati pucuk.

# Memory full

raar

Awkward Moment: KTMB Women Coach

I shall continue with my series of Awkwad Moment this time. I have been quite busy this whole week. Spending time with loved one, reunion, traveling etc. etc. Regarding to traveling, I believe all of you know that Keretapi Tanah Melayu Berhad has introduced their new women coach since last April. The women coach which placed as the middle coach of the train has caused lots of misunderstanding and confusion among the passengers. So, this story is about the sexist coach and my friend.

My friend is a transport-less person. He survive from one point to another point most of the time by using public transport. That day he wanted to go to KL from his grandparent's hometown, Seremban. The most economical way to get to KL from Seremban is by using the most lousy public transport of Malaysia, KTM. I bet 97.99% of KTM users insatisfy with the service provided to them. Trains departure are not following to the schedule, train too slow, very little number of trip in one day and many more.To cut the story short, I will stop complaining. 

Because of the train have arrived by the time of my friend reached the Seremban station, he ran towards the the train. For your information, at Seremban station, once you get out from the ticket gate you will see the middle coach is in front of you if there is train stopping there. Then he entered the train. The middle coach to be exact. Door close and this is where the awkward scene could be seen. 

Ken Wooi's artwork

He stood near the train's door and saw everybody was looking at him. All the eyes keep staring and gave a weird look. Some of them grinned at him. He look at every corners of the coach. He then realised that the train is full of homosapiens with vagina. Not even sissy or tomboy were inside the coach. He feel so weird. He did not know that the coach is reserved for ladies. But it did not end there.

If you do not know, sometimes the train inspector will randomly come inside the the train and check on passengers tickets to make sure there is no illegal passenger boarding the train. My friend was 'lucky' to find there is still two men with blue shirt inside the train on the other side of the coach. Both of the inspector came to everyone and checked on their tickets. By the time the inspector was in front of him, he gave his tickets to the inspector. Then the inspector said;

Bagi sini IC sekali.

My friend who was confused gave his IC and the inspector cynically said that my friend is confused with his gender while the inspector take a look on the IC. He could heard some chicks laughed at him when the inspector said that. He felt so furious and ashamed. The inspector asked him to change to another coach at the next station later on. Before he reached the next station he managed to give a piece of his mind to both of the inspector.

Lain kali jangan letak sticker pink kecik-kecik dekat tingkap. Kasi cat teros satu coach colour pink. Senang!

For me, men coach should be introduced too in order to curb people from thinking this world is created for women. How long can we stand all this sexist activities. Women already have their ministry in almost all of the countries in the world but we still have not. After all, I'm still being sexually abused everytime I used public transport. By women.

#Being surrounded by women is not the best fantasy after all.

raar 

Apa Yang Selalu Dilakukan Bila Kemalangan

Gua percaya ramai di antara kita semua pernah menaiki kenderaan. Tak kisahlah apa pun jenis kenderaan yang korang semua pernah naik. Motor, kereta, van, bas, basikal fixie mahupun trolley giant. Bagi gua stroller yang bebudak naik untuk mak bapak dorang exercise tolak anak-anak tu pon sejenis kenderaan. Pergi sekolah naik kenderaan, pergi makan naik kenderaan, pergi berak pun naik kenderaan. Kadang-kadang ada jugak orang yang mengawan dalam kenderaan. 

Dan disebabkan kenderaan dalam dunia ini ciptaan manusia dan dikendalikan juga oleh manusia, maka mesti ade flaw ataupun kekurangan mahupun kesilapan yang wujud. Tak kiralah ketika kenderaan tersebut dibuat ataupun ketika dikendalikan. Lalu terjadilah kemalangan yang berlaku dengan tidak sengaja juga dengan sengaja. Pastu traffic jam berjela-jela. So, bila kemalangan, apakah yang selalu dilakukan oleh pemandu yang mengalaminya? 

• "Sunni! Kunji! Pundek! Cibai! Sohai! Babi!" (1Malaysia curse) Mencarut diklasifikasikan antara perbuatan yang dapat membendung perasaan amarah yang mendalam dan mengurangkan stress yang terlampau akibat kemalangan.

• "Haiyo auntie! Buta ka?! Itu spec you simpan kasi frame dekat rumah la" (Membuli) Membuli secara verbal dilaporkan dapat mengurangkan konflik di antara mangsa kemalangan dan mengeratkan persefahaman silaturahim dalam sekelip mata.

• "Kenapalah aku dilahirkan di dunia ini? Patut aku duduk dalam perut mak aku" (Menyesal) Menyesal mengikut kajian ahli perniagaan dapat meningkatkan produktiviti seseorang mangsa kemalangan.

• "Yes! Dapat jugak aku tukar bumper baru Proton Inspira" (Bergembira) Bergembira selalunya melibatkan empunya kereta lama sahaja.

• "Astaga, astaga, astaga, astaga, astaga" (Insaf) Insaf dengan keadaan kemalangan yang telah berlaku dapat mengurangkan kebarangkalian bahawa kemalangan yang sama akan berlaku sekali lagi dalam tempoh masa 77 saat.

• "Bukan saya langgar bang, kereta sorong tu yang langgar tadi" (Mengelak) Mengelak atau dalam konteks menipu merupakan perkara paling kerap dilakukan mangsa kemalangan walaupun mereka mengerti bahawa kebarangkalian untuk mereka berjaya mencapai objektif penipuan adalah senipis bonet kereta Perodua.

• "Bang, abang punye muka nampak hensem la. Abang pakai bedak brand ape?" (Memuji) Memuji didapati ramai dapat mengelakkan mangsa kemalangan dipukul sehingga lebam anak tekak.

# Dah langgar, sendiri mahu tanggung la

raar

Paternalism: Introduction

Paternalism is the interference of a state or an individual with another person, against their will, and defended or motivated by a claim that the person interfered with will be better off or protected from harm. The issue of paternalism arises with respect to restrictions by the law such as anti-drug legislation, the compulsory wearing of seatbelts, and in medical contexts by the withholding of relevant information concerning a patient's condition by physicians. At the theoretical level it raises questions of how persons should be treated when they are less than fully rational. 

by Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy 

Selfish: Reasons To Not Hate Them

Remember the night when a gang of robber break into your house and you cry for help from your neighbours but nobody showed up? Then you labeled them as "neighbours from hell" because you think they are so selfish. You decided to hate them with all your heart. Pity you because you are so selfish too because what you only think is to get a help and save your ass. Believe it or not,we don't have rights to hate selfish people.

Survival Of The Fittest

Life is all about survival of the fittest. If you are not fit enough,you won't be surviving this filthy world. This concept is applied on every human being. People who feel they are not brave enough to save you,they won't help you. It means they are not fit enough to help someone in your situation due to their disability. Unfit people would be less likely to jeopardise their life because they know how far their ability is. Thanks god for creating the brain. By the way,why would someone wake up in the middle of night just to get kill for helping a someone they barely know. One should ultimately prioritise themselves above the others because what important is to survive the world. Same goes to you,when you cry for help,its mean you can't handle the situation and prove that you are not fit. Well,just face the music.

Live Chain™

I have Google this term but no result were found. So I'm filing a copyright for it. Haha. Live chain means lives of others that is linked and depend to a particular live. Let say there is a father who is the breadwinner of the family,so the live chain exist between the father and all of his family members. If  the father sick or died,the family would be in a total wreck. Get it? Ask me on the comment section to know more. One should understand other people situation and the live chain that exist to almost all the people in this world. Maybe the neighbours refuse to help because they were trying to get a good night sleep to earn for living for his family on the next day. Maybe they afraid of helping because they think they might died and leave their family in debt due to the funeral cost. See,people is not selfish after all.

Karma

What goes around comes around. This is the best reason to forgive people that you think are selfish and another reason to ignore them when the next time shit happens to them. When it happens, they will feel exactly the same you felt before. Just let bygone be bygone. 

All in all, the only thing we need is to be understanding to everything. Being selfish is never mind.

 raar

Selfish: Cliche

Why there is selfish people? Is it wrong for us to become selfish? Have you ever become a selfish? I think everybody is selfish. We won't be surviving this filthy universe without become selfish. Being a selfish person is just another nature of human being. Anybody who say they never become a selfish is just a big fat liar.


Let's remember on a typical drama scene where there is a girl who stand in the middle of a street. Then come a speeding vehicle moving  towards her. Later, came a guy pushing the girl by the roadside and making himself hit by the vehicle.

I always think the guy is such a selfish person. Yes, he save the girl. A sacrifice to be exact. But he commit a suicide. Why he just can't grab the girl and jump away from the car direction? He's a selfish person because he never think of what would the girl and his family feel after the incident. He never think about the cost need to bury him. He never think of his debt to the society. Screw him because what he think is just to save the girl and in directly to satisfy his wants. 

# I still got lots to say about this topic.

raar

Selfish

The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others. 
by Answer.com

Caring supremely or unduly for one's self; regarding one's own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others. 
by Selfknowledge.com

BAD QUOTES

# "A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's."

by Richard Whately


# "A woman asking "Am I good? Am I satisfied?" is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be."

by Barbara Cartland


# "Being selfish to me means that you have to look out for yourself and you don't have to sacrifice."

by Herbie Mann


 p/s: what a perspective

raar